1. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
2. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
3. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
4. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
5. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
6. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page report that I'm positive I did not make any changes to.
7. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
8. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
9. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
10. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
11. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. We're just different.
12. Junk is something you keep for years and throw away 2 weeks before you need it.
13. Always remember you are unique. Just like everyone else.
14. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.